Pipeline thick, huge

"Hey, what the fuck man? You missed it!" Ya, I know. It is pretty clear there is no blood return.

"Shit man, I ain't got time for this. Come on. You only gonna try one more time. Then I'm going upstairs. I don't care about your tests."

"O.K. Relax, I will try the other arm. I don't try more than twice anyway. Then I get another nurse."

"What's going on? You can see the vein. Just get it done."

Breathe, focus. Switch to the other arm. The first three inmates didn't exactly go easy and now I am a little hyped up. First guy I only stuck once. Didn't even try a second time. Ruined veins, diabetic. Second one bled, oh ya. A real gusher. The blood hit the back of the vacutube with an audible force. Only problem was it didn't stop. Blood running down his arm, blood on the tray, blood on the floor. Blood on the bench. This stuff gets everywhere.

"Uh, you know I got Hep C, right?" Well, I do now. Follow the standard precautions and it is safe. Still kinda slows you down though. God. How did this blood get everywhere?

Third one is the same thing. River of blood down the forearm. To slow with the gauze I guess. Another blood bath. And I know the draw is for an HIV test, he doesn't have to tell me anything. Again, clean up. One more patient left.

He walks in, 210 pounds, 5'10. No fat. Veins are bigger than mine if you can believe it. I once had a nurse claim she could start an I.V. on me at a distance of 5 feet. I guess my range is a little closer.

"The vein rolled man."

"Yah, I know. I am just going to try one more time."

"Well this time, go here. I been getting this done for 12 years."

"O.K. I will. Hey, you should be a nurse. You have all this experience."

"Really, You think so?"

"Yah, man. Hold on. One, two, three." Needle goes in bevel up. I stabilize the needle while pushing the vacutube into the port. Blood flies in. Sweet. Now just one more to go. The shakes start up though. I have an over active sympathetic nervous system and somewhere in this interaction a ton of norepinephrine got dumped into my veins. I try to keep the needle perfectly still while pulling off the vacutube. I hand it to the inmate. Jesus, he has to see me shaking. Hell even feel it. Just reach for the next tube. Stabilize. Push it on the hub. Blood flash.

Phew.

"Alright, you can go."

"O.K." The inmate walks off. He turns to the deputy. "Hey Dep. You think I could be a nurse?

"Nah, you ain't got the bedside manner."

I was being serious, though. Can't everyone be nice to sick 70 year old ladies? I was just an asshole blowing his blood draw. I guess the criminal record might hurt his chances with the nursing boards, though...